2020-10-19 Humiliation and how to deal with it 如何对待耻辱

耻辱可能会伤害我们，但到底什么是耻辱，它是如何产生的？本期 “随身英语” 讨论耻辱对人的影响以及应对它的方式。

词汇：humiliation 耻辱

Humiliation. Many of us have experienced it, right? That horrific feeling of just wanting the ground to open up and swallow us. It’s an awful sensation when someone decides to belittle us and make us feel small. But what is humiliation, and how can we move on from it?

Humiliation is quite often compared to the feeling of shame. However, the fundamental difference is that we feel shame is deserved, while humiliation is not. It has more in common with bullying and harassment. Neel Burton M.D says that humiliation results from undermining claims that you have made, such as “I’m good at my job”, and challenges your authority to make such claims in future.

Imagine your colleague shocks you by unfairly calling you out on your work during a meeting with your boss. Or your friend may demean you by questioning your expertise in a hobby or interest in front of your other friends.  The presence of others is the key factor in humiliation – a public dressing-down. It also has so many forms and uses in society. Public humiliation is often said to act as a crime deterrent, while it also has a place in comedy. You may enjoy watching a celebrity being roasted: a humiliation designed to highlight faults for comedic effect.

So, how can you deal with it? According to psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, there are a few steps you can take. First, you must accept the humiliation and realise you’re not the only one who has felt like this – talk to others who have experienced it and move on. Also, don’t immediately try and strike back for ‘round 2’ – often humiliation isn’t personal. 

Lastly, resilience seems to be crucial. Some people say: “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. While humiliation probably won’t kill you, it can hurt. Why not use the degradation as motivation to become a better worker or learn more about that hobby or interest? It could be an opportunity to start investing more in doing something you love. That way it may have an unexpected benefit.

词汇表

horrific 极其可怕的
wanting the ground to open up and swallow sb 某人想找个地缝钻进去
awful 糟糕的，极坏的
belittle 轻视，贬低
make sb feel small 让某人感到渺小
shame 羞耻，惭愧
bullying 恃强欺弱的行为
harassment 骚扰行为
undermine 削弱信心，损害
call sb out 批评
demean 贬低，羞辱
dressing-down 训斥
roasted 被严厉批评
fault 缺点，过错
move on 接受现实，继续前行
strike back 回击
resilience 面对逆境顽强的韧性
degradation 丢脸，屈辱

测验与练习

1. 阅读课文并回答问题。

1. True or false? Shame and humiliation are the same.

2. What experiences are similar to humiliation?

3. What factor is key for humiliation to work?

4. Why do people roast celebrities?

5. What could be the unexpected benefit of humiliation?

2. 选择意思恰当的单词或词组来完成下列句子。

1. When he said that, I felt completely _______.

belittle                       belittles               belittling              belittled

2. I just wanted the ground to _______ up and swallow me!

open                          begin                 start                     empty

3. Revenge isn’t always the answer – think twice before you _______.

make us feel small    strike back          resilience            roasted

4. They’re _______ my favourite celebrity on the TV tonight!

roast                          roasted               roasting              roasts

5. You need to be tougher and show more _______.

shame                       belittle                 strike back         resilience

答案

1. 阅读课文并回答问题。

1. True or false? Shame and humiliation are the same.
False. We feel shame is deserved, while humiliation is not. 

2. What experiences are similar to humiliation?
It is similar to bullying and harassment.

3. What factor is key for humiliation to work?
The fact that other people are present is key for humiliation to work.

4. Why do people roast celebrities?
For comedic effect. 

5. What could be the unexpected benefit of humiliation?
It could be motivation to become a better worker or learn more about a hobby or interest.

2. 选择意思恰当的单词或词组来完成下列句子。

1. When he said that, I felt completely belittled.

2. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me!

3. Revenge isn’t always the answer – think twice before you strike back.

4. They’re roasting my favourite celebrity on the TV tonight!                                       

5. You need to be tougher and show more resilience.