In a previous episode, we looked at how to tell someone you’re not happy about something and ask them to change their behaviour in a polite way, with phrases like would you mind?
In this programme, we look at more direct ways to tell someone you’re unhappy with their behaviour – expressions that might come up in very informal contexts.
Most of the language you will learn in this programme sounds quite aggressive, so be careful about using it.
Jackie
Hello. Welcome to bbclearningenglish.com with me, Jackie Dalton. In a previous How To, we looked at how to tell someone you’re not happy about something and ask them to change their behaviour in a polite way, with phrases like would you mind?
EXAMPLE
Neil, I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this, but would you mind keeping the toilet seat down after you’ve used the toilet?
Jackie
In this programme, we look at more direct ways to tell someone you’re unhappy with their behaviour – expressions that might come up in very informal contexts.
If you’re not already in an argument when you use this kind of language, you’ll probably end up in one pretty soon, because the expressions we’re going to look at in this programme are aggressive and likely to upset whoever you’re speaking to.
Callum and William live together and they’re beginning to annoy each other.
EXAMPLE
Callum
Oh not again! Will, will you for once in your life, please do the washing up!
William
I did it! I did it on Sunday!
Callum
Yeah, but it’s Friday now, for goodness sake! I’m just fed up with the way you leave everything lying around in the kitchen, because nobody can cook anything there without cleaning up your mess first and I’m just sick and tired of it!
Jackie
As we heard, Callum is not happy with William because he never seems to do the washing up.
One expression Callum uses to show his anger is for goodness sake! The phrase shows he’s really annoyed, frustrated and exasperated. For goodness sake!
We can also tell he’s annoyed by the tone of his voice. There’s quite a difference between: For goodness sake! which sounds a bit annoyed, but quite relaxed, and: For goodness sake! which sounds like the person is very angry!
EXAMPLE
Callum
Yeah, but it’s Friday now, for goodness sake! I’m just fed up with the way you leave everything lying around in the kitchen.
Jackie
Another expression he uses is I’m fed up with. Listen to some more examples with fed up with.
EXAMPLES
I’m fed up with him!
I’m fed up with the trains always being late!
I’m fed up with the way she leaves her rubbish on the floor!
I am fed up with you bringing your – I won’t say boring – boring friends round.
Jackie
Let’s listen to Callum again. This time, listen out for the expression he uses at the end of his outburst.
EXAMPLE
Callum
I’m just fed up with the way you leave everything lying around in the kitchen, because nobody can cook anything there without cleaning up your mess first and I’m just sick and tired of it!
Jackie
He ends with I’m sick and tired of it! This means more or less the same thing as I’m fed up with it! You could also just say: I’m tired of it! Or: I’m sick of it! Or even: I’m sick of you! A bit like William does here:
EXAMPLE
William
I’m sick of you always going on at me about these stupid things that don’t matter!
Jackie
We often use the word always when we want to make accusations or complaints about something which someone does often.
EXAMPLE
Callum
You’re always leaving it for me.
William
But why is it – why is it that it’s always you that tells me what to do?
Jackie
Never comes up quite often too. You never do the washing up! You never say you love me!
In this next clip, we’re going to hear three separate expressions to show annoyance. See if you can spot them.
EXAMPLE
Callum
What really gets under my skin is I just hate the way you come home late and make so much noise when I’m in bed. I’m sick of it!
Jackie
Did you spot them? The first one was what really gets under my skin – it’s a way of saying that something really irritates you and makes you angry.
EXAMPLE
Callum
What really gets under my skin –
Jackie
It’s followed straight away by another expression of annoyance: I hate the way you…
EXAMPLE
Callum
What really gets under my skin is I just hate the way you come home late.
Jackie
And I’m sick of it!
EXAMPLE
Callum
I’m sick of it!
Jackie
If Callum hates the way William makes a lot of noise at night, William hates the way Callum makes a lot of noise in the mornings.
EXAMPLE
William
Well, if we’re talking about noise, how about this: mrroooo! That’s the noise that I hear every morning at about six o’clock with you blow-drying your hair, Callum.
And yet, every – mrroooo! I’m sick of that! It’s got to stop because it just can’t carry on! I’ve had enough!
Jackie
William uses the expressions: It’s got to stop! It can’t carry on! and, I’ve had enough! Firm and clear phrases to deliver your message that you want someone to stop doing something.
EXAMPLE
William
It’s got to stop because it just can’t carry on! I’ve had enough!
Jackie
So let’s end with a recap of those expressions:
For goodness sake!
I’m fed up with –
I’m sick of –
I’m tired of –
I’m sick and tired of –
You always –
You never –
What really gets under my skin is –
I just hate the way you –
It’s got to stop!
It just can’t carry on!
I’ve had enough!
Jackie
And that’s where we’ll end this week’s programme!
Language from the programme
Expressing your anger about something
I’m (just) fed up with having to do all your work for you!
I’m (just) sick of the way you make so much noise at night!
I’m (just) tired of your annoying friends!
I’m (just) sick and tired of
- you!
- it!
I (just) hate the way you always blame me!
I (just) can’t stand the way you leave a mess everywhere!
What really gets under my skin is the way you lie about it.
What really drives me crazy is your unhelpful attitude.
Complaining about something that someone often does/doesn’t do
You always
- boss me around!
- leave a mess in the kitchen!
You never
- helped me with anything!
- let me speak!
Telling someone to stop doing something that makes you angry
It’s got to stop!
It can’t carry on!